Dec 18
Dec 18
Tell Your Story
Normal.dotm 0 0 1 266 1520 PriceDoc, Inc. 12 3 1866 12.0 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false
It started with one voice.
Then with the dust of the earth and his breath he created another.
Soon there were millions of voices.
They each had their own sound, their own passions, their own stories.
See each had lived through their own loneliness and pain, heartache and hopelessness.
But also through times of such extreme joy and fulfillment.
Each story is rich with life, rich with importance.
We can learn so much from hearing another’s story. Hearing it can change your perspective, can change your life.
But how come when we turn on the TV or walk into a theater so many stories look the same? So many movies tell the story of the same type of person. How could it be that millions of voices live on this earth but only a few are heard?
Why do we think that some voices are more important than others?
Hollywood has put up four big walls. These walls say your story isn’t interesting enough, your story doesn’t matter, you aren’t interesting enough, you don’t matter. These four walls create a blockade and decide whose story will be told and whose won’t.
These walls are all lies.
You know why your story matters?
Because I know a man who said you are my child who I call beloved. You matter and I love you. I love you so much I would die for you. I love you so much that I died for you.
When He said this he wasn’t talking to one type of person, with that certain kind of hair color or that certain kind of job or that certain kind of skin color, or that certain kind of home. He wasn’t talking to one gender or one country.
He was talking to everyone, He was talking to you.
He knows your voice is important. He knows your story is important. He created you.
So lets forget about what Hollywood tells us what is important and what matters. Lets start by telling stories. How bout you start with telling yours?
Jul 04
The real enemy
Many might throw out what I am about to say because of the shallowness of my example. I really don’t like when we use our simple, human, and basically downright sloppy anecdotes to try to explain the beauty of our father.
But I am going to use one.
So this is where I might loose you.
I saw the newest twilight movie the other night. I know you might have just cringed. Or maybe not. I am not a ‘hater’ of the series but I am not too much of a fan either. So I am pretty much unbiased of the movie. I agreed to go see it with a friend. I expected to see some shots of a sparkling, shirtless Edward and of course werewolf jacob, but honestly I didn’t expect God to use anything in the film to reveal something to me.
But He did.
There’s been a bit of a theme going on in my life lately. I love that God does that. Cuz I’ll sometimes miss the first, second, third, fourth time He reveals something and so on. And sometime I just learn something different each time.
So there is this scene in the movie. If you haven’t seen the movies or read the books basically the main girl, Bella, is dating a vampire, Edward, and a while back he and his family killed this other vampire that was trying to kill Bella. So his girlfriend got pretty upset and seeks to avenge her dead vampire boyfriend.
Don’t stop reading just yet:)
So now Bella’s boyfriend, Edward and his family have been trying to protect Bella from this angry girlfriend vampire. Well here’s the twist. Werewolves get thrown in the mix. Vampires and werewolves hate each other. It’s not just a little rivalry. It is a deep hate and disgust of each other. The hate runs so deep that they create a boundry line in the forest in which they live.
Are we still good? I may not be explaining this perfectly.
So despite their deep hate and boundry lines the werewolves and the vampires both care for Bella greatly. So they both work on driving this angry vampire girlfriend out and away from Bella.
Ok so this is the scene I really want to share with you.
So the angry vampire, Victoria has come back once again and is running through the forest. Edward and his family are relentlessly chasing her. But they cannot quite reach her because she jumps from their side of the river and then to the werewolves side of the river.
This goes on for quite some time. She’ll jump from the vampire to the werewolve side. Back and forth. Back and forth. Finally as Victoria jumps from the vampire side to the werewolf side one of the vampires cannot take it any longer and follows her to the werewolf side. Without a second glance at Victoria the werewolf jumps at the vampire in rage.
They get so consumed in their own fight that they let Victoria get away.
Victoria gets away.
I don’t feel like I have to say too much except that I feel like that this scene can describe us.
The church.
We fight one another about right and wrong, up and down, theology and so.
And we let
the real enemy get away.
May 21
one2five
It has been quite a while.
I cannot really sum up the what has happened during this gap of time.
I can say there has been struggle but so much growth. So much thankfulness. So, so many blessings.
And love. There is always love.
Just a few things: ( I couldn’t think of just one thing to write, so here is a mumble jumble of things, and I might touch on them later)
1. “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King Jr
2. Where is my my thankful heart? Simple: Thank you Lord for my family. For my friends. My job. Thank you Lord. For sleep. Thank you Lord For Chris Tomlin. For my Chicken Carbanera. Every detail, Lord. Thank you.
3. Fear. It creeps in. And we minimize it. Then it gets bigger and harder to ignore.
Crazy Person admits to: Sometimes I feel like if I choose to not fear then that is when something truly bad will finally happen. So I hold onto my fear as if it is a shelter from bad things. I would rather believe a lie and hold onto my fear rather than release it and accept God did not create me to be fearful. I have been talking to God a lot about that. It is time to change that.
4. This happens so often. I go to my computer with certain ideas to write down and by the time I start typing I forget half of them: oops.
5.”If you are looking for a cause to stand behind: Love”
Apr 18
And that is all I want
What do you want these eyes to see?
What do you want these hands to do?
What do you want this mouth to say?
Where do you want these feet to go?
I would not care so much about all the opinions and all the chatter.
If I knew where He was leading.
I let worry in. I let doubts rise because I am so. un.sure.
You know me Lord. You know what I would do and what I am not ready to do yet. You know me better than I do. So much better than I do.
So that is why I am going to trust you.
I am going to listen. I am going to wait.
You will be faithful. You will be faithful. You will be.
I need to be reminded. reminded. Because I can be so weak.
Please Lord clear away the cloudiness. The worry. The anxiety. Anything false. Anything. Anything dragging me away from what you want.
Lord I want what you want.
And that is all I want.
. (period)
Apr 09
home
I’m going home. just for the weekend. I may have been home a lot lately. But I have not really seen my family. This time I want to go home and really see them and I want to really talk with them.
At the beginning of this year I asked God to use me in BIG ways. And when you ask God to do that, HE listens, HE doesn’t mess around. I am learning to depend on Him more and less on myself, my friends, and even my family. That’s tough. I have always depended on them so greatly. I am now learning to find that balance. But within that balance I know I can still lean on them and I can still go to them, because they love me.
I took it for granted. Their love. God is working in my heart. And in my mind.I can tell HE is preparing me. For what? I am unsure. But this preparation phase IS TOUGH. It is full of uncertainty, fear of inadequacy, fear of what direction to go, fear of what you’ve known is not necessarily true, just fear, and many other things.
But it is also filled with lessons, new friends, newfound trust, accountability, resilience, discoveries, love, and faith. Faith that God knows what HE is doing. Faith that HE has a plan and purpose for my life. Faith that nothing is without purpose. Every doubt, every fear, every person, every conversation, everything I see, hear, and learn has a very. specific. purpose.
And that’s beautiful.
So I’m going home. Not because I am running away from stress or my fears. Not because I feel guilty for not truly being with my family last week. I am going because I love them. And because they love me. That’s it. That’s why.
I’m still thinking about the future. I am still unsure about the future. But right now I got my family. I got my friends. I got GOD. And He has got me.
Wait one more time. God has got me. (insert smile)
that’s.all.i.need.
Mar 28
I Forgot
I forgot. It’s hard to believe that for some time, I forgot what that feeling is like. That turning in your stomach, that throbbing pain in your head. That total loss of strength and of complete emptiness. No, I’m not talking about being sick, I am talking about how I felt when I saw a short film on a beautiful girl named Roseline. She is suffering from AIDS that was passed down to her from her mother and it is extremely hard for her and those around her to get the medication they need.
On wednesday night after kaleo (our wednesday night chapel) we had Invisible Children come and show us one of their films. They are on a new tour called the Legacy tour. They are trying to get people to support them in getting education scholarships for the children living in war torn countries in Africa. Roseline’s story as well as another women, named Margurite really touched me. Margurite is a mother who was caught up in the middle of this terrible war. During one of the raids through the villages some of the child soldiers proceeded to cut off her nose and mouth with a dulled machete. I could not choke back the tears. I could not imagine the pain Margurite had gone through and then the memories that come along with it.
The girl narrating throughout the movie was actually the sister of one of the founders of Invisible Children. She was a hairdresser from Los Angeles. She was so sweet and was so interested in Roseline’s and Margurite’s stories. After she met Margurite they showed a clip of her talking a bit about her interaction with Margurite. As she began talking she couldn’t hold back the tears either. Her cry was so intense. It was so real. So genuine. I recognized that cry, for two reasons.
First it reminded me of the first film I had seen by Invisible Children.
They showed a film about a boy, named Jacob. He had been through so much during this war. He had even lost a brother. On their last night with Jacob they talked with him for a little while more. He said something that hit me to my core. He said that he would rather be dead then be where he was now. His hopelessness was there in his eyes. You could see it. It broke me- completely. Then in a few moments he let out a cry, just like the one she had let out in Roseline’s film. It was that same deep , gut-wrenching, cry.
The second reason I recognized that cry was because I remember crying like they did when I was a kid. Now in absolutely no way am I saying I have gone through what they have suffered but I do remember hurting in my own way as a child and letting out a cry much like theirs.
But when I was a kid i had such a tough time going to bed. If you asked my parents they would probably let out a long sigh before describing the labor it was to not only get me into to bed but to keep me in my bed. They would tuck me in, kiss me goodnight and leave the room. Soon after I would be out of my room and in the family room crying and begging them to let me stay with them. Sometimes it took hours for me to go back and then to finally fall asleep. To say the least, I was pretty disobedient and I would continue to come out of my room crying once again.
I did not want to be alone. Yes, i think I was afraid of the dark but I also did not want to sit in that dark, quiet room all alone. I don’t really remember leaving my room or when my parents took me back to my room but what I do remember is my cry. It was that cry from your gut. It was a cry of complete hopelessness.
Now to a four or five year old, going back to a dark scary room away from your parents is pretty much the end of the world. I would panic, I had to find some way to convince them to let me stay with just for another minute or two. I did not know what else to do and so I would let out the deepest and most heartfelt cry I knew how. It is that kind of cry you feel so completely tired after. It is like all you are, all your emotion, strength, and heart is poured out through your tears.
Even though it was so many years ago I have not forgotten that feeling. So when I saw Jacob’s, Roseline’s, and Margurite’s stories and heard that cry I connected with them all. I cannot completely imagine their what their realities are like, but I connected through that cry.
I love those moments that God gives us. Those moments where we connect with another one of his children. After all, we are all his kids and he wants us to connect no matter how different our lives turn out to be. It’s beautiful to have those moments. A moment to connect.
I forgot for a moment what that cry felt like. And in a way I forgot for a while what other people go through every day. I know God gives us these moments of connection for a reason and I am not going to forget that cry anymore. I am not going to forget about Roseline. Margurite.Or Jacob.
I cannot. Forget.
Mar 11
Ten Things I Have Learned In College So Far
1) It is never a good idea to eat two giant cookies with ice cream right before working out.
2) Naps are really your best friend.
3) Gospel music is beautiful and powerful.
4) If someone asks you to hike to ‘the A,’ you should do it. Even if you hike it at 1 AM. It’s awesome.
5) Be honest. Truth is amazing.
6) Disneyland Thunder Mountain is not a scary ride despite what your childhood memories let you think. It is a delightful ride and probably one of my favorites now. (Don’t forget to raise your hands and laugh while on the ride)
7) God makes some seriously amazing people!
8) Lucky Charms is a good substitute for Caf food.
9) Rain makes kayaking so much more enjoyable
10) I still have so much to learn:)
Mar 01
To Love Like This
I want to learn how to love.
I’ve tried all the pleasing. That didn’t work.
I’ve tried loving my way. That didn’t work.
We think it’s so easy. To love.
Just be kind.
And even when we are willing. And even when we have the best intentions,
We still manage to screw it up.
God. How do I love?
How do I love like you want me to love?
Everyone is so different.
I want to love them so much. But. Everybody. needs to be loved in different ways.
The way to love one person, Might look different from how we love another.
I never thought I could be selfish when trying to love another.
But that is exactly what I have been doing.
Willingness is one thing. Now it’s time to act.
I am nothing without it. Love.
I can give everything I have. I can die in the name of Jesus. But without it. Without Love.
It all means. Absolutely. Nothing.
I thought I understood it.
I thought I knew what it looked like. But.
I was so wrong.
His love is different. His love is real.
It’s so hard to grasp. And then to actually live it out? That is tough.
Chapter thirteen. Verse four to verse seven. Corinthians.
He told us how. And each day I am learning.
A love so enduring. Never failing. A love like His.
I want to love like this.
Feb 22
A Day for Skyping and Pictures
I never understood how people took pictures when they skyped. 
Learned how to today.
We were in the same room when we skyped. I love her.